Estoy Cansada

Yesterday was a really long, exhausting day! Physically, mentally and emotionally.
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I think its safe to assume I didnt get much sleep the night before. And recent events consumed my thoughts all day long. Aside from being emotionally drained, my day started at about 8AM. And I dont mean I got up at 8, I mean my first activity started at 8. Not sure why people around here feel the need to get started soooo early when they barely get sleep at night with all the fireworks and barking dogs going off till wee hours of the night. But they do, and its insanely tiring.
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So I took my first taxi by myself today. Thank God the driver didnt ask me anything other than where I needed to go, and from my destination I took a bus to a community members house to start the days activities. After walking a half mile to her home from the bus stop, we got ready to walk UP the mountain to the home of two women who we would be tutoring in Ruhi Book 2. Although the women lived about a few houses apart we tutored them separately. I think it would be ideal to get them both in the same place, their only a few sections out of sync, but if we could get them to the same point in the book I think it would be productive to tutor them together.
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Regardless however, on THIS day, I was already falling asleep at 10AM. My eyes were dry and extremely tired from crying the night before. And I was so distracted all day, I really just wanted to be back home. People tell you there's nothing you can do, and I know its probably true, but you feel even more helpless when you're farther away from the ones you love when they need you most.
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After finishing our Ruhi study sessions we walked all the way DOWN the mountain and back UP to this lady's house. I basically passed out after lunch on her couch as I waited for my ride to arrive to take me to my next activity. They never showed, so 45 minutes later I was woken up to be told that we would just have to catch a taxi to the next house. So not sure if I mentioned this but Im really not ok taking taxi's. The drivers jip you if they know you are a tourist and I totally dont speak well enough to understand what they say unless they're asking me where I need to go. In which case, I assume thats what they are asking and answer regardless and try to give them exact change. But my fears were validated when the next driver tried to charge us 5 bucks for driving us up a hill.
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Dont get me wrong, its not about the money, but who knows what it would cost me or what trouble I'd get into if I was by myself. Luckily this lady rode along with me and started arguing with the driver. But I cant do that!? I can barely figure out how much they ask me to pay when I get out. Most of the places I need to go, have a set price, and I just give them exact change, but for these new spots? Its not so easy. IM NOT READY!!!
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Anyways, at my new location, I was arranged to facilitate a junior youth class, and then tutor a lady in Ruhi Book 3. I should mention, that its really ridiculous how no one communicates properly around here. I understand its a cultural thing, the U.S. is really different, probably the only country where people really structure everything down to the T. But before I left the house I arranged to make sure I had the right books with me so I wouldnt be unprepared like last week. What did I do? I took two books with me that I was "supposed" to have, and they were both not "needed." Cool! And then the people I work with think Im stupid or something.
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Ok so Im a little frustrated and tired writing this now, but it really was an insanely long day. I'd also like to add, Im not so fond of the Junior Youth classes. I've never done one before and its basically like Ruhi, you just work through a work book. But the kids, they're sweet and all but they're kind they're just like pre-teens in the U.S. They laugh at you for no reason, or at least it feels that way because they're saying things in hushed tones under their breath, and if you can even get them to participate, they make a joke of everything. You'd think they'd have a little more respect. Maybe I was just tired, and had run out of patience, but it seemed exceptionally challenging.
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Just when I thought my day was over, I found out that I wouldnt be able to go home till later. At this point, I basically lost it and Im pretty sure the expressions on my face, made it pretty clear I wasnt happy to hear this. I'd say this was my first Diva moment of service. But only because I couldnt keep my eyes open! And she was asked to go to a deepening on a message from the UHJ which I knew wasnt going to be successful. So I went and did my best. Five minutes in, I set the paper aside and started writing in my journal. And ya know what? The group I was with didnt seem to mind. They knew I'd had a long day and at the end of our meeting, which ended early because I was semi falling asleep, I explained to them why I was exceptionally tired today. I think they understood.
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"It's also during your darkest or fearful moments, that you gather your courage and call upon your greatest strength to pull you through those days. That's when you learn to stretch your strength."